Wow, what a rough night tonight. River and I had a run-in over brushing her teeth. It was one of those situations where I totally didn’t need to respond the way I did. I was frustrated & tired. I took it out on River. After the tooth brushing fight, she was freaking out – screaming, kicking, running up to me and hitting. I decided to just let her get it out of her system. I had to take a break as well.

Eventually, she calmed down (as did I). I asked her if she wanted to come over to talk. She said no. She told me she was too sad. I told her I was sad, too. She asked me if I was sad because she wouldn’t brush her teeth. I told her yes, but that I was also sad because I had gotten so mad. She said she was sad she got mad, too. Then, she went to get her blankets so we could each have one… “to make us happy.” I told her I was sorry for getting mad. She told me she was sorry for getting mad. We told each other we loved each other. And we gave big hugs.

The rest of the evening went well, and she fell asleep quickly once she was in bed. Still, it was one of those moments where I just felt awful as a mom. I know that everyone has their moments where their kids get to them. Still. And yes, I’m glad with how we resolved it. Still. It was a tough night. I’m glad tomorrow is a new day.

We have two date nights this week, and we’re stumped. What do you do when you have a date night – let alone two date nights?! Maybe we’ll go to Gold Class Cinemas one night. Maybe we’ll go have a nice dinner somewhere. Maybe we’ll go to a coffee shop and stare at each other for a couple of hours.

What we need to do is go shopping for bathroom fixtures, but that really can’t happen after 5pm. Those kinds of stores keep very inconvenient hours. I need inspiration! Why are you telling me I can’t get that in the evening?

Maybe we could go shopping for something?

Maybe we could go geocaching in the dark. Although, Doug doesn’t really like geocaching, so that would probably be a less than appealing date night.

I don’t know what to do with my husband for two whole nights! As to the why, well, we are trying out new baby sitters. It just kind of worked out that we are having two nights out as a result. It’s just too much time for us parent types.

If you haven’t check out Christine’s photography before, you should take a look. She is amazingly talented, and I expect great things from her as time goes on.

I was perusing her photos from her recent trip to Hawaii. She had one self portrait in there where she was musing about the advantages and pitfalls to using yourself as a model. I don’t know why, but I started thinking about how she’s always wanted to have other people to model for her. It’s hard to find someone who is willing to put themselves out there for someone else’s art. It’s not like a photo session where you know the goal is to make you look your best. This is about a story that may be flattering, but just as easily may not be.

It made me realize that any excuses I’ve given myself for not volunteering to model for Christine were silly. I mean, should she want to use someone like me, what would stop me from being a part of that? Fear of being portrayed exactly as I am? There is something about a photograph that forces you to honestly look at yourself. It can be scary, but I also think it could be a healthy exercise. Plus, it’s an opportunity for me to prove to Christine how much I value her as an artistic photographer and not just someone to take my family portraits.

I feel like it takes a lot of trust for both of us, too. It’s a weird kind of trust, though. It’s not that I trust Christine to never make me uncomfortable. That would defeat the purpose, and potentially limit her creativity. It’s not that I trust her to make me look good, because that’s hardly the goal. It’s that I trust her to value my willingness to be her model; I trust that she’ll utilize me in a way that helps her grow as I expect to grow through the experience. And she has to trust me to go outside of my comfort zone if she asks it of me… within reason. I already told her no naked boobies. I do hope she’ll find someone willing to be a nude model for her, but that’s not going to be me.

The funny thing is it seems most of the people I’ve seen on Flickr who have models other than themselves have beautiful, skinny models. I think I’m setting up Christine for an even bigger challenge by giving her a “real” woman to photograph.

So, Christine. Are you up for it?

So this site exists so people can ask you questions and you can answer them. I honestly have no idea why anyone would ask me any questions, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to try it… just to see. Ask me a question! I might even answer!

http://www.formspring.me/merowr

I have every intention of eating healthy foods, and yet when faced with choices I often choose the worst options. When I look through my mental list of dinner ideas, most aren’t the best. I really need to find some staples that are a little less… comfort? I mean, I want to make things like enchiladas, spaghetti, chili, grilled cheese and tomato soup, steak and sweet potatoes, pizza, burritos, and the list continues. When I really think about what pops into my head, I so rarely come up with healthy options. Chicken and rice seems like such a bland choice. I don’t have any good quinoa pairings. So what do I do?

Well, first, I’m asking you. I need some options. We aren’t great with vegetables, but we are working on it. I rarely cook fish because a) I’m scared I’ll screw it up and b) I’m scared I’ll buy bad fish. I’m trying to get away from things like beef every night or carb-loaded meals. So what do you make when you want a healthy, tasty meal?

My added challenge is to try to find ways to include River-friendly options in the meal. I don’t cook for her alone, but I do like to know that at least one part of the meal is likely to appeal to her. Is anyone especially good at this and want to teach a class? I also suck at planning ahead and limiting my cooking time by cooking some things in advance.

Maybe some day I’ll get the hang of this…